When you read the words “young-person” in a sentence, what is the image that comes to mind? What about when you hear the words “old-person?” Do you readily form an opinion or do your initial thoughts come in the form of questions: “I don’t know. I need more information? What do you think?” If a clear image comes to mind, then one line informing these socially constructed ideas of aging can be traced to our education system, one that rewards outcome over process.

With such a strict adherence to outcome, we mindlessly develop a world view that we rarely, if ever, question. Freud suggests that although our initial interpretations of the world may be later refuted, we tend to cling steadfastly to these original views.[1] Possibly damaging views are what serve as a lens through which all future information passes.

In childhood we develop ideas of old age. At the time, the way in which we construct this concept may be rather irrelevant information. Old age doesn’t pertain to youth. Or does it?

Our most prominent images of old age can be described by what psychologists refer to as “premature cognitive commitment.” These original concepts of old age become the foundation on which we identify as we age. We live to fulfill these ideas and uphold these images. As Ellen J. Langer suggests, “premature cognitive commitments are like photographs in which meaning rather than motion is frozen.”[2] In other words, in our youth, we hear words such as stodgy, grumpy and crabby to describe old people. Later, as adults, as old people ourselves (if we are so fortunate) we do not question this image. We may act in these ways even if we don’t genuinely feel this way because, well, we’re old and this is what old people do. Unquestioned. This stunted potential is yet another cost of the mindlessness of aging.

Similar to the views promoted by physicists James Jeans and Sir Arthur Eddington who thought the universe to be best understood as a great idea, we can think of old age in the same light. Aging exists to be interacted with. The idea of old age is incomplete. As you age, you get to inform the structure and meaning of old age. Your identity adds a uniqueness to what it means to be old.

Our orientation to the world directly informs our identity. In the U.S., success is so strictly tied to outcome. A self-image that is based on outcome fails to recognize the value of process. As we age, we could greatly benefit from regarding process as perhaps even more valuable than outcome. Furthermore, if we adopt a mindful approach to aging, then we can conceive of the possibility of new categories, a constant recreating or reorganizing of information that defines and interprets our understanding of our world and of old age.

St. Augustine said, “The present, therefore, has several dimensions. The present of this past, the present of things present, and the present of things future.” If we take into consider the process of living, one that is as varied as there are dialects in this world, and use this to inform a construct of old age, then we can see where different processes of old age can occur.  It is possible for many images of old age to exist.

By adopting a coherent mindful approach to aging, we may not only reduce the costs of mindlessness we may also extend the quality and years of our life. I don’t know. I need more information. What do you think?

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Adrienne Ione is a dynamic, mindful, high-fiving, cognitive behavioral therapist, certified dementia specialist and senior personal trainer. Founder of Silver Linings Integrative Health, a company with an aim of promoting health, fitness and wellbeing opportunities for people to thrive across the lifespan.

[1] Sigmund Freud, “Analysis terminable and Interminable.”

[2] Ellen J. Langer, Mindfulness.

As of late, more and more headlines suggest a clear and concise connection between “the elderly” and death. Aging and death are not synonyms. Yes, both happen to us, although not always in a logical and linear order. Just yesterday morning, I sat in the back tea room of our home, opened the New York Times newspaper as I do most mornings and discovered a special edition on “the elderly in Japan.” Here is an 8-page layout on living conditions in public housing communities that sprawl across Japan. Once vital centers of communities, lively in the 1960s, people describe them now as hosting magots, mounds of piling garbage, and incense burning in the smell of urine and bodies decomposing. Grand. Just what I want to become. Elderly. Really? Well, if this is how elderhood is described, why would anyone opt for this. One man interviewed in the story shared his sentiments: “How we die is a mirror of how we live.” This is not an isolated thought, rather it runs deep in our individualistic society. This ideology is deeply entrenched in our understandings of aging.

Time and time again, the two processes are intertwined, so much so that the latter informs the former. Our concepts of death define how we internalize the aging process and how we view others aging. Indeed, I do believe the two deserve attention, only independent of one another. Our culture gravely misses the mark on such separation. We promote a denial of death. A medicalization of death. We view death as a failure. Death as a loss. Death is the enemy. However, I come from the perspective that this is not the only lens through which to view death. In the U.S., death is dark. Jeepers. We wear black to funerals. Come on.

Another perspective constructs death as the beginning, rather than the end. Another view is that death is a continuation. To be continued as life. “Death is not extinguishing the light, it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come,” suggests Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore. What would it take for the United States to fully embrace such a paradigm shift? For example, when a person is born at one of the local hospitals, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” is played over the intercom and can be heard throughout the entire hospital. Want to take a guess and what song is played when someone dies? That’s right. Nothing. No song is played. Silence. What if instead of nothing, a part of the ballad “You Light Up My Life” was played. Or ABBA’s “Hasta Mañana,” Judy Garland singing “Over the Rainbow” or perhaps Eddie Money’s “Two Tickets to Paradise.” Please, anything other than nothing.

If we did acknowledge death, how might this alter our perceptions of life? Yes, feelings about death are wrapped up in a cloak of fear and are rampant in our culture. “Even the wise fear death. Life clings to life,” remarked Buddha. Yes, I get that many people are afraid of a process of which we know so little about. There are far too many aspect about life we know so little about and so why live a life in the hinterlands. It is a guarantee that we will all get to the hinterland. The how and when is another matter. How do you benefit now from spending energy on worrying about the how and when aspects? Why is it that we cling to damaging ideological constraints of aging as death? How does this serve us if in shaping our ideas about aging, we then intertwine ideas about mortality?

For some, a discussion of death, even bordering on obsession with death, perhaps serves to protect the living. It is yet another way to separate us from them. As is commonly understood in the line of hospice care: They are dying. I am not. Early in my career I recall the first time a nurse remarked to me, “Well, you know she’s dying.” To which I responded, “Aren’t we all from the moment we are born?” She quickly cut her eyes toward me and huffed, “You know what I mean.” I smiled suggesting agreement, although I didn’t know precisely what she meant. And I still don’t. This was almost twenty years ago, when I was first starting out in the field of counseling and took a lot in, rather than ask any questions. And now, I inquire on people’s meaning of this any time such a remark is made. Sometimes, I’ll throw in the question, “If she’s in the process of dying, isn’t she also in the process of living?”

And so, I invite you next time you are in a situation where “someone is dying” share with others an appreciation for their life. Compliment the person who is living or share with them how they impact you – maybe lessons you’ve learned or directions in life you have taken as a direct influence of the person. Be present. Enjoy every moment of life. Death will arrive. And then, you can be present with death.

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Adrienne Ione is a cognitive behavioral therapist and personal trainer who integrates these fields in support of people thriving across the lifespan. As a pro-aging advocate, she specializes in the self-compassion of dementia.

Website: yes2aging.com
Guided Meditations: insighttimer.com/adrienneIone
Facebook: silverliningsintegrativehealth

When I hear people say, “Ya, positive aging is so important.”  I wonder, what exactly does positivity have to do with aging? Does having positive thoughts truly have an impact on the aging process?

A 76-year-old triathlete in Tempe, Arizona questioned aloud, while reading my business slogan, which is printed on the back of my jersey, as I ran past him, “Aging actively and thinking positively? Well, I am positively aging. Does that count for something?”

Then there’s the program for positive aging aimed at “improving later life mental-health and dementia care.”[1] So not only is it a mindset, we then also have instituationalized thought by offering programs that potentially train us to think a particular way about working with people affected by abnormal aging – from the DICE approach to the CARES approach.

In the 90s Martin Seligman, father of the “positive psychology” movement led the way for gerontology to create what Robert Hill and others call positive aging. Hill purports that “happiness does not just happen” rather our intentional behaviors and thoughts deeply impact the quality of our life.[2]

Perhaps as our lifespans have drastically increased over a relatively short period of time, the fervor with which we approach longevity is focused now more on quality rather than quantity.

According to U.S. Census Bureau, “in 2050, the population aged 65 and [greater] is projected to be 83.7 million.” Population growth at this rate is twice the speed of growth nearly 40 years ago.

Further, the average life expectancy for a female in the US is 78.8 years (slightly less for men and no current data on people who are transgender). One study suggests those with positive perceptions of their own aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer.

While having tea with a friend the other day, she shares a conversation at a recent doctor visit, where the doctor said, “How about you focus on your diet and we’ll follow up in 2 years.” My friend chuckled, and said, “Doctor, have you looked at my file?” He said, “Yes, I see your cholesterol and glyceride numbers.” My friend says, “OK. Did you see the numbers in my birthday space?” He responds, “Yes, you were born in 1917.”

My friend’s conclusion is: “I think I have the quantity part of life figured out. I’m going to focus now on the quality. And as that relates to food, if it tastes good, I’m going to eat it…this baklava from the Greek Festival sure is delicious. MMmmmmmm.”

Our thoughts are not separate from our body. There is mounting evidence for physical impacts of positive thought processes: strong cardiac health, decreased blood pressure and cholesterol readings.

Regardless of your current age, your thoughts can have a positive impact on your aging process. Research suggests if you look forward to aging, then you’ll enjoy the process more fully and joyfully as opposed to your dreading (or dreadful) aging counterparts.

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Adrienne Ione is a cognitive behavioral therapist and personal trainer who integrates these fields in support of people thriving across the lifespan. As a pro-aging advocate, she specializes in the self-compassion of dementia.

Website: yes2aging.com
Guided Meditations: insighttimer.com/adrienneIone
Facebook: silverliningsintegrativehealth

References

[1] http://www.programforpositiveaging.org/

[2] Robert Hill Positive Aging

In the above court case, “Persons who Object to Aging v. United States of Aging” plaintiffs filed this action challenging the Aging’s Executive Order on natural processes. The People seek a finding that certain sections of the Executive Order are contrary to their desires to live forever, be young and abstain from societal objectification. Constitution and laws of the United States of Aging, and enjoining Defendants from implementing or enforcing those sections of the natural aging process. The People further seek entry of a nationwide temporary restraining order against all acts of aging – biological, social, cultural, internal and political. The judge presiding over the matter: Honorable Time, concludes “Before us today is present not a case of wanton and reckless behavior. Rather, we witness an unveiling of the beauty of time in all of its folds and uncertainties.” A bench warrant has been issued on the grounds of the written accusation of United States of Aging being guilty for a natural act. The case has been relegated to collections until further notice.

Seated in the courtroom, among a group of people diverse in ages and thoughts, you quickly rise to your feet and let out a screech, “Objection your Honor.” Also seated in the courtroom is Stevie Nicks who exclaims, “I want to be age appropriate. I don’t want to be that girl you see walking away and she looks 25 and then she turns around and she looks 90.”^[1]

In an era that is ripe with resisting, anti-everything, detesting and protesting, perhaps we can find comfort in shared experiences. It may behoove us to seek out similarities rather than differences. Discussions in the courtroom among proponents of objecting to aging, are quick to rely on arguments that are toothless tigers. They quip, “Hey, objecting beats the alternative. You know, succumbing to the decay.” In the United States of Aging, no one wants to be seen waving their white flag, a symbol of surrender, and more pointedly, weakness. However, what if we change the script? And shift the meaning of what it means to be old. What if the images and the bodies of aging were more closely aligned with models in advertisements for Benetton?^[2] On an individual level, how would a social and cultural aging situate the way people internalize their aging process?

Perched on high, Honorable Time demands, “Please be seated.” Proponents of your objection turn the volume up on their snickering and clamor and the commotion and fracas crescendos until, “Order in the courtroom,” gruffly and vehemently reverberates among the walls from the booming voice of Honorable Time. Honorable Time delivers the verdict:

Today, we have been presented an incomplete case. It is unclear whether the plaintiff is requesting youth be on trial, the mind, the demeaning social inculcations of aging, the cultural misunderstandings of aging, or everyone else who does not object to aging. Therefore, it is in our dutiful interest, as a civilized United States of Aging, to further investigate the true and whole indecency of the quasi-crime presented before us today. At this point, it is paramount to understand the complexities and total gravity of the aging process and the social and cultural extensions of roots. I have not been convinced, beyond a reasonable doubt that aging is indeed a crime. I have heard witnesses from all sides, and yet it is still not clear to me how the plaintiffs would be satisfied in this situation.

Steven Tyler once wrote, “You have to lose to know how to win.”^[3] In a similar vein, perhaps you need to be old to know how to be young. Or maybe old and young are purely made up categories that reinforce the social construction of certainty and uncertainty. As previously noted, perhaps it is time to write a different script on what it means to be old. The current working definitions of old, predate contemporary technologies and social categories. Prince concurs with his remarks on time. “Time is a mind construct.”^[4] Times change. Minds change. Let us come together in our shared experiences. Rather than resist, give a hug. Hug yourself. Hug your old self. Hug your young self. Old and young are constructs. To the sun, we are all young.

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Adrienne Ione is a cognitive behavioral therapist and personal trainer who integrates these fields in support of people thriving across the lifespan. As a pro-aging advocate, she specializes in the self-compassion of dementia.

Website: yes2aging.com
Guided Meditations: insighttimer.com/adrienneIone
Facebook: silverliningsintegrativehealth

References

[1] Stevie Nick did not actually appear in this hypothetical courtroom. Rather, her comment was from an interview that appeared in Rolling Stone.

[2] For an example of United Colors of Benetton advertisements, please visit Benetton.com

[3] Steven Tyler, American singer-songwriter for Aerosmith, wrote these lyrics for “Dream On.”

[4] Dorian Lynskey, “Prince: ‘I’m a musician. And I am music.’” The Guardian (June 23, 2011).